2010 Summer Women's Conference

Have You Ever Cried Just to BE?  Finding the Powerful You in a Wounded World: Part 3

Who was your first love?  Was it your mom or dad?  Or was it that boy in kindergarten?  Did you fall in love as a teen or a grown woman?  There is nothing really better or more inspiring in life than being in love.  We live on love.  We all want to love and to be loved.

Love from others gives us a tangible assurance that God loves us, distinctively and uniquely.  When I was younger I used to tell my Spiritual Director that I needed to see God “in the skin.”  He reminded me that even the best of God’s followers are just instruments and they are not God. 

Sometimes it seems that God appears in flashes in people and then He seems to vanish.  The best way to be sure that God is present in the world is to make sure that He is always present inside of each one of us.  God though, demands that we keep our hearts open to others.  This is the greatest challenge in life.

Father DiOrio addressed this love relationship with the Lord and with others at the 2010 Summer Conference for Women.  When going back into our lives to examine wounds isn’t it true that every wound was caused by the lack of or the apparent loss of love?  Have you ever had a broken heart?  Father’s searching voice resounded in the question, “Is there anything more tragic than a broken heart?”

Perhaps this takes you back to a very painful time in your life that you would rather not think about.  It may be a death.  My brother Tommy died suddenly at 31.  Being just a very young woman I almost could not bear the cruel sudden separation of someone that I loved and saw often.  The powerlessness over death can make one pursue everything that is Heavenly or it may lead to depression, hopelessness, and bitterness.  I believe the difference is in the acceptance or rejection of that love that can be so painful that at times it seems worse than death.  Father so sensitively said, “When you have a broken heart, you cannot die yet so you cry.”

Your broken heart may be from parents who disappointed you or hurt you. They may not have wanted you.  Perhaps you were abused, rejected or abandoned.  Father DiOrio told the women to contemplate “what impressions people in your young life, first being your parents, inculcated into you.” 

Many women, as Father said, “Were starry eyed dreamers at the altar.”  He continued.  “Did life make a promise to you about marriage that it did not keep?  On your wedding day did you ever think that you were going to be abused?”  Many women were put high on a pedestal only until they were “conquered.” 

What do you do when you realize you have been tricked?  You feel abandoned to a home and children.  You may have been replaced by another woman.  What do you do when you are a woman of God and your vows mean something to you?  You feel stuck.  Father tenderly revealed to the women, “yes God hates divorce, but God hates abuse more (Psalm 11:5 and Ezekiel 45:9)”

Father urged the women present to reflect on these domestic wounds.  He said, “Every problem, every situation has solutions if you take the time in silent prayer.”

Father then went over the tactics of an abuser.  The goal of the abuser is to put fear into someone to gain control of them, making one a prisoner.  The abused are depersonalized by criticism and constantly being treated as insignificant.  The abuser may use words, manipulation, fists, weapons, financial destitution, or children against you.

As Father began to help some of the women make this journey within he compassionately told the woman that “abuse begins when a man uses a woman for a function.  When you use a woman for a function or to satisfy your own need, you are headed for hell. Yes marriage is sacred, but God has a protection against abuse.  Abuse is evil! It is sin.  Now it is time for a Savior.  The heart of God is to protect the weak and vulnerable.  Do not be afraid to get out of a sinking ship!”  There was a deafening silence when Father asked, “How strong and honest are you to rid yourself of this evil?”

God will restore what has been broken.  A woman will be given strength anointed by God.  Father once said, “God will collect your tears and make a water color out of them.”  The first change, Father taught must be in you.  “A woman is unique.  She is not a tool.  Her beauty is in her virtue.  If she loses her dignity, she can recover it once she knows how completely and uniquely God loves her.  All love ends in an incarnation.  A woman either physically or spiritually will give birth to someone or something once she is loved and knows that she is not replaceable.  When a woman is truly loved, she is not replaceable.” 

Father DiOrio concluded by encouraging the women not to be afraid to go first apparently alone.  To give the wounds of their hearts to the Heart of Jesus and He will give them a love transfusion.  “A woman cries for individuality.  Woman can change the world.  She has shown endurance and talents that are vital for the growth of mankind.”  As Father gave his loving smile, he said “Make the journey from insignificance to magnificence!” And then he asked, “Do you see the importance of who you are?

Please feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss your personal wounds or comment on my article at mtdb34@yahoo.com  I hope you can join us for upcoming services, God is waiting for your love return!